How I Got My Agent
I sat on this post for longer than I thought I would. Sharing the story of how I got my agent seemed simple at first, but then I realized this story goes back so much further than querying or revisions or the first draft. It goes all the way back to childhood, a time when I oftentimes felt silenced and ignored. Like a lot of writers, I turned to words to get out all the things I didn’t feel like I could say out loud or the things that no one heard when I tried. I had so many notebooks filled with quotes and journal entries and rants and dreams. I had a Felix the Cat notebook that I filled with random thoughts and a Spongebob notebook full of song lyrics that will never see the light of day. (Trust me, it’s for the best.) Those eventually gravitated to Composition notebooks and the Notes app on my phone, but you get the idea.
While I wrote short stories and started roleplaying in high school (more on that later), college is where things really took off. After an abysmal three semesters as a Psychology major and a much-needed break, I went back to school to pursue English with a Creative Writing emphasis. We focused on poetry and short story writing while I interned at the school’s publishing press and obtained my Publishing Certificate. One day (because all stories need a “one day”), my writing professor and advisor handed back a short story and said, “This could be a novel.” And so Rodney was born.
Rodney was a middle-aged Englishman (because I’m totally qualified to write such a thing) whose best friend had just died. The story moves between present and past of Rodney’s interactions with the best friend and other key characters while they try to piece together what happened. Honestly, just writing about this book here feels wild and so unlike where I am today, but I’m grateful to Rodney (and that professor) for setting me on a path that has changed me for good.
Other books came and went since then. An elderly woman who reminisces about her life while on her deathbed. A young woman who has to make it through a series of trials in order to get her memories back only to discover she’s a clone. A girl who lives inside of a painting. A Norwegian teen who’s whisked through a portal only to discover she was born in the mysterious realm and is the key to saving it.
Slowly, these stories led me to where I am today. Each one was a special part of me but also included parts of me I hadn’t yet discovered. And so began my greatest adventure: Writing a novel that I would actually edit and query.
None of the books mentioned above were queried. They were never even edited, and some never got to the completed first draft stage. There were many reasons for this, but the resounding reason was fear. Historically, I’m not someone who fights for things. In some ways, I grew up in survival mode, and there wasn’t much room/energy for chasing dreams or goals. But the older I get, the more I come to accept that I really am worth more than survival mode. I won’t get into family drama or mental health or the number of overthinking pep talks I’ve given myself (or received from friends), but eventually I got to the other side of all that and decided to just do the damn thing.
When I started drafting OUT OF CHARACTER, I knew I had something truly special. It was the book of my heart that I wasn’t writing for anyone but myself. It was a book I’d needed in order to heal from some personal stuff. It was a love letter to roleplaying, an addictive hobby that helped me out of some truly dark times (sometimes because of the writing escape, sometimes because of the people involved). It was a love letter to amazing friends online and offline. It was giving a young fictional Jenna a gay high school experience because real Jenna didn’t realize she was gay until she was 30-ish. It was giving a young fictional Jenna a high school experience where being fat wasn’t something to cry about or wish away because real Jenna didn’t learn to love her body until she was 30-ish. In short, it was everything I’d needed to hear in high school. And if it makes even one fat and/or gay teen feel seen, accepted, and loved instead of silenced or shamed, it’ll be so, so worth it.
A quick side history on roleplaying: I’d started back in 2005 when I was just finishing junior year of high school. I was all about that escape-from-reality life, and what better way to do that then pretending to be someone else? This carried on into college and my twenties in a very fast-paced, quickly-addicting manner. I’ve since broken from the addiction side and will occasionally still roleplay on a smaller scale, but the “golden years” of it are long behind me. The reason I mention this is because I wouldn’t be writing young adult without roleplaying.
Enter Janice, stage left. We met in 2006 after almost a year of roleplaying. We met for the first time in person a few years later in Chicago. Shortly after another Chicago trip with more roleplay people, I got to attend her wedding. Over the years, we became best friends, and roleplaying banter turned into writing banter. She was a big fan of Young Adult, but I was living in the land of the “classics” and “literature” and was too nose-in-the-air to read anything younger. And then she introduced me to Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo, and I was a goner.
Reading YA turned into writing YA. And after Janice had a successful run with Author Mentor Match (AMM) in 2019 (Round 6), she convinced me to try for Round 7 in 2020. I’d written OUT OF CHARACTER during NaNoWriMo in November 2019, and subs were due for AMM in February 2020. So I had my work cut out for me to get the book ready enough to submit. (This is where I shout out Janice, Emily, Kalie, and Alyssa for their help. Y’all helped more than words can express, and this is me having emotions about it.)
Getting accepted to AMM felt like a dream come true. It was the first time I can remember that I really put myself out there in a vulnerable way for the sake of daring to dream. And it worked! Imagine how something can turn out so well when you actually try. Wow. Goosebumps. Cue shock.
I worked with Haley Neil in Round 7 of AMM for a few months. She was an immense help with getting my book ready for the next stage (big edits, small edits, query and synopsis edits, agent guidance, pep talks, and pictures of her dog Poppy). Also during AMM, I met eleven other flailing raccoons (Team Trash) who gave fantastic book feedback and got me through every anxiety spiral and Taylor Swift album release. Y’all make me feel so soft, and I’d slap a bitch for any of you.
Okay, feels are now in check. Back to the timeline.
I started querying in June 2020. Again, trying was new for me, so this process was terrifying. I overthought every query, every email, every request, every rejection. I got a Revise and Resubmit request from an agent in July, which didn’t quite “land” for them but helped me make the book even stronger, so no regrets.
And then Mike Whatnall at Dystel, Goderich & Bourret opened to queries in early October. I had a ~feeling~ about them while reading their wish list and almost immediately sent a query (just kidding, I immediately sent it). They requested the full a few weeks later, and by mid-December they had replied again. When I got the email for The Call, I was sure it was another rejection (I know I’m not the only person who gets numb from those emails). The second I read “I would love to talk further” I knew it was ON. And then I panicked for the few days in between the email and The Call because maybe it was just a call and not THE Call.
Reader, it was THE Call! We talked for over an hour about my book. They complimented my characters, their relationships, the balancing of online/offline life, and so much more that I can’t remember in the moment. They also told me that they’d roleplayed in college, which was a huge plus for me because I didn’t know if anyone would “get it,” but Mike very much did. Overall, they were the perfect fit for me and my book. People say “all it takes is one” about agents, and that couldn’t have been more true.
After sending courtesy nudges to other agents and waiting almost three weeks (I gave a little more time due to the holidays), I was finally able to enthusiastically accept Mike’s offer. We’ve now been working on OUT OF CHARACTER edits for a few months, making it the best damn book it can be before going on sub sometime soonish.
And Mike, if you’re reading this (which I know you are because I have no chill and will send this to you), THANK YOU. I am so honored to have you in my corner, and I can’t wait to see where we go on this journey together.
If you read this far, congratulations! I don’t have a witty closing, but just know that if you’re querying or are about to query, you should be proud of how far you’ve gotten. YOU WROTE A BOOK! That’s huge! Try to enjoy this journey, no matter where it leads you.
And for the thirsty writers who want le stats, here you go:
